Sharing Skills

I don't excel at many things but I can do a pretty good job at most of them. The age old 'Jane' of all trades, master of none! 

A wise woman once mocked me saying "Of course you have lost interest in it, you have figured out how to do it, so it is no longer a challenge!" I think this really hit the nail on the head. 

I love learning how to do new things. Racking up the skills, feeling that if I needed to I could make most things for myself, without the need of the shops.

I also love sharing these skills, learning from others, teaching others. I have a strong belief in crafts and cooking skills being passed on from one person to another. Usually through shared experiences and communal moments. 


Learning to cook something new while sharing wine or having a bench full of little bottoms, all eager to nut out how to crack that egg without getting shell, or crank the pasta machine and see the spaghetti come out.

Sitting in the sun or around a fire with a pot of good tea and teaching someone how to crochet or read guitar tabs. Sitting side by side and mosaic-ing with someone, continually learning from each others techniques. 

The world is full of teachers and those eager to be taught.

Orlando has asked me to teach him how to knit. I have been waiting for his interest and with me doing quite a lot of knitting of late, I was not surprised at the request.

I have a delicious memory of my Grandmother teaching me to knit. She had a little poem that has stayed with me through many 'non-knitting' decades ready to be recalled as soon as I picked the needles up again. It went:

"In the rabbit hole,

round the tree, 

out the rabbit hole,

and off!"

So Orlando selected his wool, we choose some bigger needles to begin with and set to work. 

He took a movie of my instructions to remind him later if her needed (talk about techno-native generation) He settled himself in the crook of my arm and off we went. Hand in hand to begin and then just that little poem being repeated over and over.

He caught on really fast, seems interested, has come back 4 times in 2 days. I am loving that he is at an age where he can start to comprehend these more complex tasks and his fine motor control is developed enough to achieve what he needs.

Another skill shared in the beauty of a communal experience. One that hopefully Orlando will teach someone else one day.

A Wondrous Birthday ...

Can it really have been a year already? 

and on the other hand...

 Has it really only been 1 year?

Today marks "A Woman who Likes to Wonder's" Birthday.... 

1 Full year of Blogging.... WOW!

76 posts, a few trusty and often quiet followers, most posts get read... by a few people :)
(Hey maybe you can give me a Birthday Present by hitting Follow over there on the right!)

I started this a year ago, with the aim to record some ideas, some thought processes, share some concepts and challenge myself to improve my writing.

What I was unprepared for was how cathartic it would be. A place to write down the continual trails of thought. Instead of letting them continue to circle in my mind, recording them here often allows me to let them go, release them.

It's become a place for me to use the thousands of photos that I enjoy taking. To share the way I see the world. 

Looking back over my year was quite an experience for me. What a delicious record of our world, our life and the experiences we share as a family. Little did I realise I was marking down and creating such a record, a memento. I love revisiting these experiences, as do the kids. They often want to sit and look through all the photos saying "what story were you telling here? was it about..." I great place to re-visit and reflect on our experiences.

The year ahead... is going to be pretty hectic and unfortunately I don't know how many spare moments I will be able to set aside for this space. I will when I can and I will then be back as my workload subsides. At the very least there will be portraits :)

So HAPPY BLOG-DAY to ME!!

May we all continue to Wonder 

and allow it to enrich our lives with

 learning, curiosity and reflection.

First Day....

Today was the BIG DAY!! First day of Pre-School for Matilda AND first day of Kindergarten for Orlando. 2 First days on one day!! (3 if we count my first day going to work without children in tow for 5 years!!)

So how did it all go?

Well the weekend ended up with me dealing with my nervousness by being SUPER prepared. I sewed new relaxation time pillows, got new 'school' shirts, named everything, packed bags, practiced needed skills, and talked, talked, talked.


The kids were excited, Ollie about seeing his good friend (and a little nervous about a new place), Tilly excited that "Mummy will go home and I can stay to play" - spoken like a true younger sibling who is ripped out of the classroom each morning at drop off... finally it is her turn.

We woke, got ready, had our first day photos and set off. We were all in good spirits. 

Matilda was dropped off first... Orlando set her up and in we went. She is in his old classroom, so knows the space well. She confidently put her things away and held my hand while we went exploring. she was captivated by the light/dark play and then discovered the clay. She sat down, we all said goodbye and she was busy... great! Easy! 

Now for Big School!

Orlando was wide eyed but keen, we went in, he made eye contact with his teachers, smiled and took a deep breath. In we went, found a locker and looked around. He spotted his good friend and off he went to play. We followed and he looked up and said "Mum I think it is time for you to go..." RIGHT. I've been told! Glad you feel comfortable... off I go!

So all went well. Then a couple of hours later I got this sinking feeling in my stomach... what if Matilda had started to freak out.... realised that we were not coming back for a while and was not happy? I let the fear pass through and got on with my day. Realised that I had been so busy feeling nervous for Orlando's big day, that I hadn't realised I was particularly nervous about my 'baby' going to Pre-School!

Reflections on the day...

Orlando - "Mum it was great! I didn't want to come home and can't wait to go tomorrow. You know when you left... I didn't feel sad at all. I was really happy. Tomorrow I am going to dig to the bottom of the sandpit and see what treasures I can find!"

Matilda - "I did lots of things! I started with Clay and then I did some painting, purple, pink and more purple. I washed some babies, did all the puzzles and played with the wooden people. I didn't eat all of my yummy lunch and I loved waking up from relaxation time."

Me - I felt really proud of the courage and confidence they both had. I didn't recognise Matilda when I got to Pre-School. She looked too grown up. This made me think that during my little freak out in the day, my perception of Tilly grew up... she isn't a baby any more... This is a good thing. She knows it... I just took a while to catch up :)

I find it fascinating to watch and observe their different areas of focus. Orlando has always been focused on the human environment, the teachers, friends etc. Matilda on the other hand is focused on the things she can engage in. What is there for her to investigate? I would be surprised if she gave any of her class mates a second glance! Maybe when she feels like she has explored enough she will look up and see who is around her :)

But we are all feeling positive and now home the kids have gone off and are playing by themselves... GREAT! 

Bring on tomorrow!

I Miss You!

I find being a Mum often provides me with points to reflect upon. This past 2 weeks has been an interesting turning point for me. 

I love being a Mum, but there a often times that I, (and I think many others) yearn for who I was before I had children. You transform a part of yourself when you become a Mum. Life changes, and I often find myself dreaming about when I used to have time and mental space for... movies, coffee with friends, work without distractions - even a trip to the toilet uninterrupted! I miss me! or the pre-mum me anyway!

With the new school year nearly upon us, I have had a lot of work on. So instead of shipping the kids from one place to another, they had their first 'holiday' away at their Nan and Pops. Boy were they excited... 8 days without Mum and Dad! 8 days of adventure with Nan! We had the plan of retreat if it was too long away. Not only were the kids excited but us too! 8 days kid free! 8 days to just think of ourselves! Eat when we want, go to the movies, go rock climbing together, gym when we need - not when is convenient in the tag team regime. I also had a lot of hours to put in at work, but even the concept of going to work without the kids and being able to work as long as I needed was exciting.

As we drove away from dropping the kids off, the car was very quiet. I felt excited but slightly nervous also... I was going to miss the kids!

After a day of quiet adjustment we started making the most of our time. 2 movies and dinners in 3 days! A well overdue bush hike over the weekend and the needed 9/10 hour days at work. Nath and I really enjoyed getting to spend some time together.

We hit day 5 and I realised I was feeling exhausted! I also woke with this sickening feeling of where are my babies I need them back! I was really missing the kids. I got wondering about why I was feeling so tired and then it occurred to me that I had been travelling at a million miles an hour. I told myself that I was just trying to make the most of the time away... but that wasn't it. This is how fast I used to travel ALL THE TIME! This WAS the OLD ME! 

I reminisced on how, when I had Orlando, it took me a few months to slow down. I had to change gears and adopt a slower pace of life. This was the biggest adjustment for me in becoming a mum, and I had sort of forgotten it. 

So now I was again going so fast that, the house was a mess (I was too busy to clean it), my 'food pets' were all in the fridge 'on hold' (I didn't have time to feed them), we were eating take out many nights (I didn't have time to cook) and I had no clothes to wear as I hadn't done any washing (didn't have time for that either!).

I found myself yearning for the routine and order having the kids in the house gave me. The slower pace, allowed me to do all the things I wanted/needed. It allowed me to be the me that felt right... Now I was missing the Mum me!

Through all of this I have realised that as much as it is normal to yearn for a little time to my/our selves, to want to see a movie etc I actually prefer the Mum me to the old me. I am calmer, more focused, more emphatic  more caring, I have more patience (although it is often tested), I am healthier,  I make far more of my own food, and I have two stunningly beautiful children who fill my life with  joy, laughter and overwhelming amounts of love! 

So now my babies are home and we prepare for both of their 'first days' on Monday. This is a year of change in our house hold. New adventures for all of us. I am so pleased that we are a tight and loving family unit, to support each other in all the adventures and challenges the upcoming year has to offer.

(I have also realised that we really need to get some more recent family photos!!)

2/52

"A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2013."

Matilda: Often, self soothing with a moment of stillness.

Orlando: Where did all of those freckles come from!

Coming Home

Our grand journey had come to an end. We are home. Ahhhh...

We have loved every minute of our journey, but once the car started heading in the homeward direction it was hard to stop! 

After the Arapiles, we stopped in at the Grampians. Very beautiful place. On arrival we had hit the hygienic low of our journey. We were with limited water and no showers for 6 days of dusty, sweaty rock climbing. All of us had an air of grubby-ness that you only seemed to notice when you were in town around all the clean people...

Grand Canyon, Grampians

It turned out our camp had a mountain stream through it. The weather was actually hot, very hot, so I stripped us all in to cosies and gave us a rinse in the river. The water was mind numbingly cold. I'm a water baby and I had trouble convincing myself to get in. Nathan, up at the camp-site, said he could hear the kids murderous screams, accompanied by my wicked cackle and he could imagine exactly what was going on down at the river.

Our next camp was Daylesford which was delightful but we only stayed 2 nights as our hearts knew it was home time. We got up early, set off and with only a short stop for lunch, drove the full 9 hours back to Canberra. As we drove down the Barton Hwy towards Canberra, conversations turned to our favourite memories from the past 8 weeks and the things we were really looking forward to back home.

So How has it been being back home?

Well it has been a different experience thats for sure! Here are the main points we have all noticed, since being home...

- Our bedroom is the size of 2 caravans.... who really needs all that space?
- The more space you have, the more mess you make.... and the longer it takes to clean it all up...
- I LOVE my shower... it is free, there and no time limits, I don't have to wear thongs in there and I don't have to manage getting dressed in a wet shower cubicle
- It takes more than 1 shower to scrub 8 weeks of dirt off yourself
- We have A LOT of stuff... and much of it just sits there
- It is nice not having to pay for every load of washing (mind you we got home, put on the first of 10 loads of washing and the machine started flooding the laundry... crap... a 50 piece had blown a hole in the side of the outer plastic basin, Nath spent the whole day fixing it... because he is good like that :))
- The kids are adoring re-discovering their toys
- We kept to ourselves for the first few days... this was great! Kids re-found each other in the new space instead of turning straight to friends. We have been able to continue our holiday relationships back in our familiar  habitual environment
- A lot changes in 8 weeks, the new traffic lights are finished, a new MacDonalds has been built, and our supermarket is all switched around and different!
- We have more time in every day than we think we do. We just need to turn off the media boxes, get up and do it!
- The kids really have grown! Tilly can reach the door knobs and toilet flush button now!

We are slowly entering the social world around us again, but I have definitely noticed that we are moving at a different pace than everybody else (the man who was beeping me to drive faster noticed it also :)I have hardly driven in 8 weeks so I was taking my time :))

So overall are we glad we took the gamble and went on our trip

ABSOLUTELY!!

We are REALLY bonded and close as a family and the kids eyes have been opened to SO MANY new ideas and experiences. Hearing them talk and describe our holiday to others makes it very clear just how much they got out of the whole experience.

So our adventure ends here, but leaves us with life memories and relationships that will last for many many years to come...

Catch Up Take 2!

Well in my last posting I said that at Mt Field the sun came out... Well it has stayed out ever since, so I have been out busy enjoying our holiday and not had a lot of time for blogging or much Internet connection (good old Tassie!). We have some mega catching up to do! More than 2 weeks worth actually!!! So it will be brief but I'll elaborate when we get home :)

Following Mt Field we went to:

Bruny Island
This was a wonderful stop. We rode the ferry (or Fairy as the kids are convinced it is) over. Orlando was in heaven! Yet another form of transport to add to the repertoire! Or camp site was on one end of "The Neck" which is the famous isthmus the joins north and south islands together. Our campsite was merely meters from the BEAUTIFUL beach and we very much enjoyed sleeping to the beating of the waves (have actually had this for 3 weeks now and will miss it as we move inland).
We could have stayed here for weeks! The island has a small population but it has a beautiful relaxed atmosphere. There are little factories and farms like the cheese factory, the smoke house, the berry farm and fudge shop. We did the tour and went back to our beach with a hamper full of goodies to enrich our camping pantry. We had sunshine and no wind YAY!!

We saw the Fairy Penguins waddle in from the beach at night time and squark around their nests (the part of the holiday Matilda has been waiting for.... I think she is still a little surprised they didn't look like the fairies she was imagining :))

Dover

Our dear friend Kathryn and her daughter Jasmine live in the little fishing village of Dover. It is always good to spend some time with old friends. Particularly ones you were very close to and then don't see for ages. It was nice being in a house for a few nights but a bit of a culture shock also. The kids were in heaven! Another kid to play with! And TOYS!!!!!!!! After an awkward start, Orlando and Jasmine hit it off and quickly made friends. Orlando found it rather tricky to say good bye to Jasmine, she made quite an impression on him. He sobbed for a good half an hour when we left, upset he wasn't going to see her again for a long time. This was also a clear indication for us that he is REALLY missing all of his friends and the social community he has around him at home.

Hobart
Well Hobart nearly blew us away!! LITERALLY! This was when the gale force winds hit Tasmania and Victoria and Oh MY!! We were in a horrible little Caravan Park on the outskirts of Hobart and were in a wind tunnel next to a bay so we had 3 sleepless nights just trying to hold the van down so that it didn't take off! Nathan's wonderful rope skills meant that he was able to tie the roof of the van to the ground to hold it down. This wind scared me a bit and I didn't feel settled or safe.

But on the touristy side of things we went to the Cadbury Factory and learnt all about chocolate. The kids were in heaven! We also brought a good lot of it from the very very cheap retail shop (I was also GOB SMACKED buy the amount of chocolate some people we buying OMG why are they not the size of houses!)


We also spent a very windy day in Hobart at the Salamanca markets which is always a nice day out. Got some delicious produce to nibble and found a FANTASTIC little book shop in Salamanca square. Could of spent days in there. It was my idea of a beautiful little tucked away treasure. Even the kids were happy for a full hour looking at all the kids books.

We had our Belated Fathers Day. We went to see MONA (Museum of Old and New Art) This is a great gallery and a real asset to the Art world. We really enjoyed our visit here, the museum has been well done. We also agreed that much of it, is not the sort of art we really like to look at! A bit too much exhibitionism for my liking. We then went over to the Royal Tasmanian Botanic Gardens. These are beautiful but it was really interesting to been in a 'constructed' natural space after spending so much time in wild natural spaces.

Tasman Peninsular

I always marvel at how old foot stones
wear down over hundreds of years
 and millions of uses.

We were pleased and relieved to be going bush again and this is a beautiful part of Tasmania. We camped at Fortescue Bay which is a stunning beach with white sands and picture perfect blue water. We had quite an adventure getting in to our campsite as it was raining, just a little, but enough! The road was dirt and the hill was long and VERY steep and started to go straight up, straight after a sharp corner, so you didn't even know it was coming to get a good run up.... well with this and a whole lot of loose, wet slippery gravel on the road.... we couldn't get up the hill... Bugger... we had 3 attempts, each time Nath had to reverse the car and van down the ridiculous hill that was so slippery we were sliding even when stopped and trying to be still. Just when we were discussing other camping options in the area an 'old cobber' came out of no where in his little suzuki and said "Common cobber, hook this to your bus, we need to get those kiddies to the beach!" and he hooked a tow rope to the front of the car and his little box of a 4WD pulled us, the car and the van up the hill. Thank goodness! And bless the little bush yokel fairy that saved our asses!

 
Once here we really enjoyed a day at Port Arthur. Ollie really loved the stories about how people used to live and we only included a few of the horrible bits :) Tilly didn't understand much of it but loved the old houses. We also went on an epic bush walk that was meant to be "flat 3 hr coastal walk". Well it took us at least 4 1/2 hrs and was VERY hilly. Like we walked over the top of 3 mountainous headlands. By the end we all felt exhausted but satisfied. Ollie walked the whole lot of it and Tilly helped me build back and shoulder strength with her luxury back pack ride.







Freycinet
Being the "Gold Coast of Tasmania" and Tasmanian school holidays, it was a lot busier here than we have had anywhere (saying that we have come accustomed to having campgrounds to our selves :)) So we felt a little crowded. We are also starting to get a bit tired and need to remember to schedule in some slow days, other wise we are going to need a holiday from our holiday!

We had a meander along some little pebble beaches, one with some amazing granite boulders and caves. The bouldering/rock climbing bug has bitten Ollie and Nath and Ollie are having some FANTASTIC boy time going off and rock scrambling. Matilda on the other hand sits in the sand or pebbles and has a little sensory massage, rubbing and rolling her whole body in the sand. She gets in quite a zone!


We also did the iconic Wineglass Bay walk. Up to the lookout and over the mountain to possibly one of the world's most beautiful beaches. I am so pleased they haven't put a road through nature to get easy access here but instead you have to walk, a decent walk, to enjoy and appreciate its beauty. We continued on an extended bush walk, totaling 5 hrs of walking. Ollie has developed into a champion walker and only complains a little near the end of 5 hrs, which in all honesty we all feel like doing :) I found it interesting to reflect on the beauty of the beach and then to discover why it is called wineglass bay. Partly it is to do with it's shape, but mainly, due to how deep it is and the fact that it is very protected, it was an area of great protection for whales and it had an enormous migrating whaler population.  During early settlement of the area it was discovered how many whales were here, and low an behold man started to slaughter them at great speed. First all the Sperm Whales and then the Humpbacks, so much so that the bay was continuously full of blood, so much that it looked like a glass full of red wine.... :(


Mole Creek
For our last stop in Tasmania we have decided to stop at the sleepy little town of Mole Creek. Today we went and explored the caves which was one of the most beautiful and well preserved limestone tour caves I've seen. It also houses one of the largest populations of Glow Worms. The kids have become quite the glow worm fans! Ollie expressed today that they were like beautiful stars and he and Nath are hatching a plan to construct a glow worm haven on his roof at home. Tomorrow we bush walk some more and go and visit the honey shop and other gourmet delights.

On Wednesday evening we embark on our return voyage on the Spirit (as you could of guessed Ollie has been talking about for a week already!) and then we have just over 2 weeks of this journey left! Time is flying for us!

5 Weeks in we have settled into a nice hum together as a family. The kids have made great friends and are really enjoying each others company. We are thankful for the bonding we have the opportunity to be doing and I think it will stay with us for a long time following this journey. All of our internal communication has improved out of sight and we are appreciating each other everyday. Parts of us are longing for home, we miss our friends, family and lives. We miss our chickens and garden, which should be blossoming just beautifully about now. But that will all be there waiting for us on our return.

Coming to the end of the Tassie leg it is hard not to feel like we're going home. In a part we are but we still have 2 1/2 week in Victoria. It's hard to get there mentally right now so we are just being and will explore Vic when we arrive on Thursday! (Which is also my BEAUTIFUL little sister's Birthday... HAPPY BIRTHDAY JENNA!!)

Until then...

Caio!

Shaping Our Other Halves

I've got to thinking recently about how and where we learn how to function in long term relationships. I'm sure we all pick up bits and peices along the way and learn through experience, but how do we know what these influencing factors are and whether or not we want to take them on board and meld them into the way we work. Are we conscious of it or does it happen subconsciously?

Many people say you learn it from watching your parents.... I think this is probably an influencing factor yes, but I'm unsure as to for which party....  Does this influence how we respond in relationships? or does it influence our expectations of our partners? Or both?

I was brought up, in my younger years, in a household full of women. My Mum was a single parent and I have a sister. All 3 of us behave very differently in our long term relationships, so I doubt that we've learnt this way of being from each other.

I hear people remark all the time about how funny it is that they end up choosing a partner that in retrospect is very similar to their mothers/fathers.... Did they? Or is that what they, over time,  have created?

Perhaps, through our childhoods we develop perceptions and stories about how we believe men and woman interact, the roles that they take and the ways they respond to each other.

Perhaps, we then interact with our partners using this lens. We create a story about how they as a male/female will interact and respond in a relationship and we modify our behavious when with them to match this story.

Perhaps, we expect particular responses from them and look for these responses to 'prove' our story or expectation. To strengthen and perpetuate the cycle.

Do we then unknowingly play the role set out for us, and play it for long enough that we believe it to be, not a role but our nature?

Have we, perhaps learnt to interact in long term relationships from our other halves? Have they set the expectations? Have their expectations or roles for us, taught and shaped us through time?

And if so, what expectations are we unwittingly shaping them with?


Does it happen both ways or is there a more dominant 'shaper'? If so, is the more dominant shaper the one with the strongest role models and therefore the strongest expectations?

I think consciously we all try to avoid 'changing' our partners and we love and accept them for who they are... But what about the subconscious forces we are completely unaware of? What work is happening there?